“If there is heaven on earth, it is here, it is here, it is here”.
These were the words said by a certain Urdu poet on Kashmir. Interview any random woman inside Saravana stores (or for that case, any other showroom in Ranganathan Street) and you are bound to come up with the regional version of this quote.
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| Ranganathan street in T Nagar. |
Welcome to T.Nagar, the supposed ‘shopping paradise’ of Chennai. Paradise alright, but only for the women who shop there. The place is simply uninhabitable by any other species on earth. Be it animals, rodents and well, husbands.
Yes, you heard it right. The husbands who shop with their wives here are a breed of their own. The pitiable breed. They are second only to Hutch pugs when it comes to following their wives on the streets. You can identify this breed easily. They usually are found
1. hibernating behind a truck load of shopping bags.
2. in the billing queue rummaging their pocket for money, or in the freebie queue.
3. sitting on plastic chairs laid outside the shop while their better-halves are inside setting their purses on fire.
Interestingly, back in the 90s, chairs laid out was not a usual sight. Instead we used to have the furniture section near the billing section, where people sit down on cushioned sofas and couches and waited, while the others billed. This was seen as a nuisance by the authorities especially after toddlers were found using their ‘excretionary’ power on the soft mattresses. Hence, they came up with this idea of ‘waiting sections’, usually near the entrance and they gave the watchmen, a pay rise. Now they had to keep an eye on who enters the shop and also teach the kids some public sense, which unfortunately their parents had failed to. These waiting areas are also occupied by people who don’t have enough knowledge about shopping and let others do it for them and also by husbands who want to escape their wives for some time and revive their teenage penchant for ‘bird-watching’.
There is a belief that “you cant cross any street in the shopping areas of T Nagar without getting your feet stamped atleast 12 times”. We now know that this is not true, atleast wholly. The myth hasn’t entirely faded though. You do get stamped, pushed, scratched and shouted upon a lot number of times. Infact, a world class transport system exists here. All you have to do is fill up a free space created from time to time on the road and crowd will carry you. When you reach the shop, just grab on to the nearest pole or something and avoid being carrying away. There is yet another way to reach the shop in the shortest possible time. Just follow any really fat, bossy lady (the place is full of them) and she will make the way for you.
Parking is the herculean task here. Partly because it takes quite a talent to wade the vehicle through the crowd and involves maximum clutch work. And also, the driver needs to have a knack of spotting free parking spaces. And please don’t think your vehicle will be safe in here. As you enter the parking lot, a sign board welcomes you with the following words.
‘The Management is not responsible for any loss, theft, or DAMAGE to your belongings.’
The seriousness of this disclaimer sinks in only when you get back to the vehicle after shopping, and find your rear-view mirror broken. You might threaten to sue them but then they promptly point their finger to the signboard and say “Cant you read?”, adding fuel to the fire.
Such similar attitude is shown by the salesperson inside the store. Shuttle them more than four times and they are bound never to return back to you. If they do return back, try and notice their facial reaction. They shrink their faces like there is a bad stench in the air and talk to the wall behind you, even if you are standing right in front of them.
One of the things that makes people come here again and again is the long list of offers. Be it discounts, freebies, or the special aadi sale (i will elaborate on this shortly); people here are mad about all these. During special seasons of the year, we see hoardings here blaring ‘flat 50 % off’ or ‘5 to 60% off’. This is where a master marketing stratregy comes into play. I prefer to call it the ‘Font play’. If you carefully notice the hoardings, the words ‘flat 50 % off’ will be written in big block letters and below that would be written some phrases in miniscule hand. I will enlist few of the phrases that go here, and you yourself would notice the trap laid bare.
1. on selected items only.
2. on purchases above 5000 Rs.
3. on select brands (or) branded items only.
Else they go for the ever dynamic ‘Conditions apply’ phrase. Not much people reading the hoarding care about this. I once wanted to know what really were these conditions and questioned a store authority about this and he just stared right back at me, as if I had asked him for the name of the President of Uzbekistan. Anyway, most of the people realise these traps only when they are in the billing queue and by that time, it is too late.
Now that you have chosen your stuff and paid for it, you might think that the shopping is over. Until you are made to stand in the next queue for the freebies. Yearly and monthly calendars for the next year, big jute bags (with plastic handles that breaks if you load it with more than 5 shirts !), low grade suitcases are some of the freebies given away by the store. If you think you were done with the ‘conditions’ in the previous queue, you are wrong, for they have just begun. For example, in certain shops, they give jute bags only on a bill of more than 2000 Rs. If you think you are being a smart alec by buying yourself a wrist watch for 2000 bucks and demanding a jute bag, you are wrong AGAIN. They strictly dont give jute bags for electronic items. And thus the conditions go on and on.
Now coming to the ‘aadi sale’ i had mentioned earlier. This falls under the category of ‘year end sales’. As the name suggests, this is a desperate measure to push away the unsold stocks of the previous year, so much that they give heavy discounts on these stuff. Once I wanted to buy this shirt that I really liked, but it costed 800 bucks and I couldnt afford that much for a single shirt. After 3 months I came back during the ‘aadi sale’ and voila, I got the same shirt for 200 bucks. Such is the awesomeness of ‘aadi sale’.
But beyond all these setbacks, one thing that makes this place a real shopping paradise is the variety here. Ranging from watches to washing machines, lamps to laptops, everything is present under one roof. This is what makes the shopping here special (and also quick) and this feature is the real crowd-puller. T Nagar rocks !
