Superstitions: Mystic and mindless.

Hello people,

     This time I will be venturing into the universal topic of superstitions. A lot of them exist all over the world. Most of them are not superstitions at all, mere co-incidences. I will try to reason out some of the common superstitions that prevail in India now (Tamilnadu to be precise) and also give my thoughts on it.

1. “It is bad luck when a black cat crosses your way.”

On my way to cross yours.

     Now this is a superstition which had been in existence for a long time. It is because of the Indian mindset of associating anything absolutely black with bad luck. Like the case with the tamil movie “Sigappu Rojakkal” where a black cat is shown to be the embodiment of villainy and evil. But a black cat is like any other, only with a lot of melanin content in the fur. And the black cat doesn’t really intend to cross your way. If you keenly observe, it might just be on its way to snack or to meet the opposite sex. Stop him and you might just be depriving him of all the ‘fun’ he was about to have. That will add to your list of sins.

     You probably would not see a black cat during the winter season because that is the time they are busy with ‘other’ work. It is the summer season in which they are found restless and there is a reason behind it. Remember the concept “Black bodies absorb heat the best.”? Fourth grade physics. This must very well apply to black cats too. Since they feel too hot, they move about here and there and chances are fat that they come in your way. So, next time, when you are about to leave your home and they cross you, take it as an indication that the weather is too hot and try staying back. Give these black guys (no racism intended!) some credit and respect, for, they are your well-wishers. If you are really pissed off with the cat, get a box of Agsar white emulsion and paint him with it. That way, you will do a world of good for the cat and also take your revenge. But make sure this news doesn’t reach Manekha Gandhi or the Blue Cross.

Yup. She is the woman.

2. “A lizard falling on the human body will have certain outcomes according to the part of the body on which it falls.”

     This one is real fun. It is called ‘Palli dosham’ in tamil and its effects are given in the ‘Palli panchanga’. You might think what effect a small lizard falling possibly can have on you (Of course, other than shock, irritation, nausea, and in some cases, throwing up)? Well, our ancestors beg to differ. If you have ever checked out the backside of a daily calendar, you might have seen a space dedicated for this ‘Palli panchanga’ thing. It contains the list of body parts on which the lizards fall and its corresponding effects. I will give the following link for reference.

Palli panchanga

     Many of the results specified in the above link have no relevance whatsoever, to a lizard. For example, the lizard falling on your lower lip is said to result in a financial gain for you. Like the lizard was on its way to steal money from your dad’s pocket and fell on your lower lip en-route, hinting that there is a fat share for you in the loot. 

     And also what if the lizard falls on your ‘thighs’ first and you do a small jig to throw it away, during which it lands again on your ‘left arm’?. Referring to the link, falling on the thighs indicates ‘loss of clothing’ and falling on the left arm ‘may bring shame to you’. The message is clear. You didn’t wear your underwear. How did the lizard ever know that?

     Science says that there are millions of small hair called ‘setae’ on the feet of the lizard, which aide them to walk on the wall. If dust gets in between these hairs, it fails the intermolecular Van der Waal forces of attraction between the wall and the setae and thus can make the lizards fall. That is, if you see a lizard fall down from the ceiling, you can infer that the room is dusty and it is high time you cleaned it up.  If the room isn’t dusty, then one of the possible explanations is that the lizard had met another cute one and had fallen in love. Pun intended.

Classy.

     As a citizen of India, you need to learn the art of co-existing with these creatures. If they fall on you, throw them away and continue with your business and let them with theirs. If you still feel the urge to reach out for the nearest daily calendar, get all those calendars in your home and burn them. 

3. “New work must be started on auspicious days and hours.”

     This is more of an Indian sentiment, which is slowly turning superstitious. I consider this, the biggest mistake made by Indians. I don’t intend to hurt anyone’s sentiment, but I think auspicious days of the month are meant for starting equally auspicious works like marriage talks etc. But there are some people who go a bit overboard. They check the auspicious time for starting almost any work. Be it waking up in the morning, taking bath, eating breakfast and all the other daily chores, barring some exceptions like nature’s call: version 1 and 2, because these are processes that won’t wait for an auspicious time.

     There was this uncle I knew, who used to run a shop near my home. He was a freak who made it a point to run his business only on the auspicious hours and the auspicious days of the month. He didn’t work on Tuesdays, Saturdays, Sundays, and the days of the waxing cycle of the moon. And for the other days of the month, he had reasons like Ashtami, Navami, Ekadesi, Pradosha etc. Effectively, he worked for 4 days a month and had to shut down his business in a year. And still, he blamed his ‘Shani disha’ for this. God save such people.

     I am at dark as to why this superstition is still being followed in India. A line needs to be drawn between these sentiments and essential activities. I cannot dictate terms but I can request you to please give the least priority to this superstition.

4. “Rain is expected in a drought-hit land when a donkey and frog are married.” and related superstitions.

     This, by far, is the funniest and craziest superstition in existence in India. Whenever the monsoon fails, they go for this crazy ‘coupling’ thing. How the hell do they expect it to rain when a donkey and frog are married? If it rains by chance, it is because God is sitting in his living room, crying at the sight of the newly-weds.

The bride.

     By the way, I have a question. What if the monsoon didn’t fail, on the contrary, it flooded the area?  Will the flooding stop if the frog applies for divorce?

     In some areas, men replace the frog. This is further more pathetic. Anyway, donkeys make a terrible wife and that man will have to marry another woman. Imagine the plight of that poor girl. She will be married to a jackass husband who has an affair with a donkey. That is not a pretty sight at all.

     I could go on and on about the other superstitions that prevail in India and in the world. But I will stop here as I think I have enlightened you enough. Humans are the only race bestowed with good reasoning capabilities. Before following any such superstitions, find their utility value. Also find the rationale behind these superstitions and make a firm decision whether to follow them or not. The rest is in your hands.

Thank you for your patience. Comments are welcome.