Coimbatore: A
student of a private deemed university died here today in the city. The
official statement by the police states that he had been studying really hard
for his upcoming university periodical examination and was pretty stressed out.
Taking a short break, he was flipping programs on TV and finally started
watching “Neengalum Sellalaam Theru Kodi” hosted on Ajay TV when the sad
incident happened. Doctors who performed his autopsy said that he had suffered
severe head trauma from the university exam syllabus and the game show just seemed
to have initiated the rapid death of brain cells.
We had interviewed one of the doctors who had performed the
post-mortem and he said: “I have never seen such a death in my career”. While
this is a usual stock dialogue of the doctors for the past 20 years, he also
had this to add: “The brain seems to have liquefied and oozed out of the ears.”
Dr. M.Dharmarajan, Dean of the Hells pass hospital,
explained us on this unnatural death: “Students don’t usually study for the
university examination these days. The few who study have a tendency to get
egoistic and think that they have amassed a lot of knowledge when in fact they
have only been reading the preface of their textbooks for the past hour. They
start noticing stupidities everywhere. This particular student seems to have
watching the new game show ‘Neengalum Sellalaam Theru kodi’ and he simply
couldn’t stand the sheer stupidity of the questions asked in the show. That is
when his brain boiled out of his ears.”
His mother said “He is a brilliant, ‘top of the class’
student and like any other topper he confined himself to his room while
studying for exams. He was studying for this particularly difficult exam, wanted
to take a break and started watching the wretched game show. 15 minutes into
the show and we heard him shouting ‘Why don’t they ask questions like these in
my university exams?’, ‘One crore for this crap? That is more than the 3 times
the yearly pay package promised by IT companies in my campus interview!’ His
last few words apparently were ‘What? 24 multiplied by 0? And you are giving 4
options for this question? I cannot take this anymore..’ I had asked him to
change the channel, but he insisted on watching the show for he wanted to see
the limit to which the stupidity of the people is stretched to.”
Parents of some students found this hard to digest.
“Students these days have a lot of distractions. With IPL around the corner and
the ever growing football games, trying to make them study has become a
herculean task. News and quiz shows are the only ones we allow them to watch
during exams. With standards of quiz shows dipping to depths lower than the
Mariana’s trench, they will be forced to watch the boring news forever during
exams”.
They also posted questions to us such as ‘How does the host
keep a straight face while asking dumb questions?’ and ‘Doesn’t he get angry
when people cannot reply such rudimentary questions?’ Our special correspondent
met the show host and actor Kurya during his morning jog and he replied
“Exercise helps me. I don’t do yoga just to improve my height, it also helps me
keep my calm and help me retain my cool when people cannot answer rudimentary
questions. I am a professional actor and hence don’t laugh on the sets. Why,
now I am on my way to a laughter therapy session in the park where I laugh off all
the memories of the previous day’s shooting of the show. This helps me keep a
straight face.”
While some of deceased student’s college mates were filled
with remorse, others were simply happy that they had got a holiday in college
owing to his death and an extension of study holidays for the periodicals. Some
even say that the show should come up with special episodes filled with even
more extremely absurd questions, during the main semester examinations, thereby
brain damaging more top rankers. ‘Lesser the toppers, lesser are our burden’,
these self-centred were quoted saying.
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